A Calling to Foster

Meet Kevin and Nanette. They have been foster parents with Gateway Longview for 11 years. They have had 10 foster care placements and have cared for 26 children for respite. Here’s what they had to say about their experiences.

What was your journey like to become foster parents? 

We had talked about becoming foster parents for a while, but like many, we didn’t know if it was for us. We are people of faith, so we prayed for guidance and wisdom as we considered whether fostering is the path God was leading us toward. Through much discussion with each other and our daughters, who were 13 and 10 years old at the time (and the girls giving us that extra push), we decided to start the foster care process. The process moved smoothly; Kevin’s work schedule allowed him to attend training classes twice a week and our friends’ schedules allowed them to look after our girls the exact nights we needed them to. We started training classes and completed our paperwork. Every door seemed to open for us and none seemed to close, so we became quite certain we were meant to be foster parents.

Why did you choose Gateway Longview? 

An intake person from Gateway-Longview came to our church to share with the congregation the need for foster homes, which piqued our interest. We followed up with Gateway after that and felt they would be a good choice as our agency.

Also, our friend was a foster parent with Gateway-Longview. 

How has fostering changed (or not changed) since you started fostering children? 

I really don't think things have changed that much. The need for foster homes continues to grow. It’s sad to see that there are so many children in need of a safe, stable and loving home. The process of getting the children reunified with their parents, a family member or freed for adoption is too long and often not in the best interest of the child.

What has been the most challenging aspect of fostering children?

 Saying goodbye to the babies and children is by far the hardest thing we have had to do during our time as foster parents. Accepting decisions that have been made for children that you don’t always agree with is also challenging. Riding the emotional roller coaster of foster care is difficult and frustrating but well worth it. 

What has been the most rewarding aspect of fostering children? 

The most rewarding aspect for our family has been watching the children meet their milestones, such as: the babies holding your finger, making eye contact, smiling, babbling, sitting up, or walking. Many people say they couldn’t do foster care because “they would get too attached.”  Bonding and attaching to these little ones is the goal and what the children need for a good start.  Being able to give these babies and children a good start in life has brought us pure joy.   When the children leave, we try to focus on the positive and how well we loved them.  

We have also had a good relationship with the biological parents, which is a blessing because that is not always the case for other foster families. We continue to stay in touch with a couple of the families of our foster children and are able to see them once in a while.

Another rewarding aspect has been watching our daughters, Gretchen and Julia (now 24 and 21 years old), love these babies and children. They have been so helpful with the care of the children that oftentimes we had to wait our turn to hold the babies. We call fostering our family ministry because we all take part in caring for the children. We are thankful for what our daughters have learned and experienced through our foster care journey.

What advice would you give new foster parents?

Before we had our first placement, we did respite a couple times for other foster parents.  

It’s an effective way to get your feet wet before a permanent placement.

I’d also recommend finding a foster care support group. It’s very helpful in trying to understand and navigate through the foster care system. You have the opportunity to ask questions to experienced foster parents and just share what’s on your heart.  It’s a great support system with people who can relate to your foster care experience.

Gateway is also a good support system and always willing to help in any way they can. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your caseworkers.

What advice would you give people thinking about fostering? 

It is a big decision, so I would recommend getting as much information as you can from an orientation, calling Gateway to speak with a homefinder, and talking to other foster parents. If you don’t know any foster parents, Gateway will find one of their foster parents to speak with you. If you’re a person of faith, pray about it. I would also say if your heart is leaning towards foster care, try it. It may be something that turns out to be one of the most rewarding things you’ve done. For us, being foster parents was out of our comfort zone, but here we are 11 years later. 

Is there anything that you think people should know about Gateway Longview?

We have had a good experience with Gateway. Everyone in the foster care department, from Intake, homefinders, caseworkers and supervisors have always been kind and respectful to our family. We appreciate the support they have given us, whether helping to transport for visits, listening to our concerns or bringing us diapers, formula  and clothes when the child(ren) comes only with the clothes on their back.